Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
