when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
