So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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