But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
