i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
