OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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