Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
