And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize