ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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