Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
