Pappa wants mamma naked
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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