just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
