so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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