Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
