I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
