"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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