"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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