The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
