Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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