Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
