sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
