I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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