HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
