The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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