On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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