Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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