Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize