is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
