I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
