uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Vodka?
Forever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
