508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
