rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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