i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
