We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
