i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
