I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Semen is not good for contacts.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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