i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
