I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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