just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
