Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize