Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
