Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
