i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
