your room smells of hookers.
And success
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
