is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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