he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
And then he peed in my hair
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