i may or may not be watching the land before time
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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