If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
