today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
