The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
