My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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