Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
