Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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