i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
