whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
