im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
