I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize