doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she peed on how many people?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
