I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
