the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think a kid would responsible me up
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
