please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
