Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
