Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
