shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am naked and annoyed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
