is your mom at the bar?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
