you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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