i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I pour the whiskey from now on
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
