we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
