Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Shame - the story of my life.
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