Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize